i fucked up

This happened a few years ago.

According to my old boss, it’s happening again.

Adam stopping by again…

I worked on the Aria hotel here in Vegas from 2007 – 2009, as a project engineer.

Jeff, was a superintendent and a boss of mine.

In 2011, he needed a website.

I charged him $300 for the site, and $25/mo for hosting/maintenance.

He paid me every month up until a couple of years ago, as I felt somewhat guilty as he reached out MAYBE once a year for a small tweak/change to the website.


He reached last month, as he was having issues with his email.

We’re friends on Facebook.

In the email, he wrote;

“I been seeing your FB posts. Sounds like you are doing fantastic!”

We all know most share the “highlight reel” of life on the socials.

It makes it appear like everything is perfect or “fantastic

Jeff probably meant nothing negative about it.

However, I felt like maybe I’m only showing the good parts of life.

Making it appear, everything is pepperoni pizzas and Oreo blizzards from Dairy Queen over at Casa de Dukes.

Well, it ain’t.

Life hands me plenty of shit sammiches.

In December, I told you about a business coach I had invested in in early November.

Short story long:

What I invested in, and what was sold, were not the same thing. It was a $7,900 coaching program, and I invested $2,600 (the 3 pay option). They’re trying to get the remaining balance from me, although, not aggressively.

I then found another business coach in late November.

I was pissed off, desperate, and vulnerable.

Not the best time to make a sizeable four figure investment, but I did.

I paid him $2,000 of a $8,000 commitment.

He was better than the first guy, as he didn’t have as many clients. He offered 1-on-1 time.

In late December, he was having money issues and reduced his team from 3-to-1. Him being the only one left.

That was disappointing.

Myself and others faith in him evaporated overnight.

He was helpful with a few back-and-forth DM conversations in January.

He’s going in a completely different direction now.

And yes, I understand, I am the common denominator in both those situations, so I shoulder the blame as well.

I’m 0-for-2 on picking business coaches.

The kids’ mom and I have been on-again, off-again for the last 3+ years. We’ve lived apart since June of 2018.

In December, she took a job in Alaska! Her aunt has a business up there and offered her to come work for decent pay. She’d do 7 days up there, and 7 days here in Vegas. Repeat this cycle till the end of February.

In January, I broke off our relationship. There were several things, but it was the Alaska thing (and how she handled it) that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Last week, I found out she’s going to stay working up there. She’s now going to alternate two weeks there, and two weeks here in Vegas. This was new plan was not discussed, and came as a complete shock to me.

To say that the situation has been a hot fucking mess would be the UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE FUCKING CENTURY!!!!

The kids hate it.

I’ve struggled with it on many levels.

So my former boss (and people on Facebook) might see my highlights, although I try and share the shitty parts, too.

I felt called to be open and honest and send this email to you, {first_name}

I’ve posted on Facebook a handful of times since receiving that email from my former boss, as I felt like a shithead.

I try really damn hard to look for the good in life.

I spent the first 35 years of my life being Downer Dukes.

I like to think I ended that alter ego a few years back. Execution style.

Eternal optimist is a much better title.

So I’m dealing with my own shit.

I ain’t looking for sympathy or shit like that.

This is life.

One day at a time.

One step at a time.

Grateful for the lessons I continue to learn on this journey we’re all on.


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